A Repair Can Hold Intent and Impact

A useful lesson from difficult conversations: explaining what you meant works best when it doesn’t erase how your words landed.

Imagine someone saying, “That came across as dismissive.” A reply like “I didn’t mean it that way” may be true, but it can close the conversation before the impact is understood.

A clearer repair might be: “I meant to keep the answer brief, but I can hear how it sounded dismissive. I’d like to say it more clearly—and understand what you heard.” Then leave space for their response.

Intent and impact are different parts of the same exchange. Naming both can make room for honesty without requiring either person to surrender their perspective.