Make Feedback an Invitation, Not a Surprise

Feedback is easier to hear when the other person has a say in how the conversation begins.

Try asking: “Would one specific observation be useful right now, or would you rather talk about something else?” If they’re open to it, name what you noticed and its effect—without guessing at their intent. Then pause: “How did you see it?”

This keeps feedback focused and leaves room for a different reading. The invitation matters, too: a “not now” should be a real option, not a hurdle to overcome. Clear words can open a conversation; they shouldn’t decide for someone else whether to have it.